all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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