Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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