oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
