I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
