TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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