Dual....:-)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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