you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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