That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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