The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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