I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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