I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize