i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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