I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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