If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
