Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize