Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
