i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
