Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
