There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
