We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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