Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
