We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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