Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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