do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
