if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
