The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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