Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
