Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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