well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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