They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
