Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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