I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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