is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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