Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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