you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
