He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
