Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
