I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
