the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
