Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I still have a little drunk in my system
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize