it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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