I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
