Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
