There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
