When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
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if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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