You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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