I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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