i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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