Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
