so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
