This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
