Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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