the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
