Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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