I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
