Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
