Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize