I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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