You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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