I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
