Will you blow on my dice?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
