Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
