Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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