Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
