My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
