i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
