just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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