I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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