you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize