you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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